Now what?

I hung out with Claire Roberts and her kiddos this past Friday. She was asking about our first year of marriage and it got me thinking! I had not really sat down and thought about it. Has it been good? What have we done? Have we grown over this past year? I have been in a funk now for the past month at least and I wonder if it's because we are changing. Not changing in a bad way, but settling in to {married life}?

I've found myself over the past several months feeling anxious and looking for the next thing. Claire mentioned she likes to have something to look forward to and I think I'm the same way. Before you are married you are looking to get a boyfriend. Then you get the boyfriend and you are thinking, when are we going to get engaged? Then you get engaged and you plan a wedding! You plan and plan, get excited and then once you are married and go on your honeymoon, real life begins to happen. Nothing major to plan, no major event your looking forward to. You're going to work or school (at least for me) every day. You come home cook dinner. You have those things, like C-group or church, you do every week. All of these things are good and I love them, but I keep finding myself asking, now what?

I believe the Lord is quietly saying to me wait, learn, watch, pray, seek me. It doesn't sound super exciting at first. I'm supposed to sit around waiting? I sense J and I are supposed to be preparing for something, and of course only God can know the what, when, where, and how. I have a feeling the Lord is yet again teaching me patience and contentment. Those things in our lives that keep us from worship and keep us in bondage God goes after with a vengeance. Which is why I'm not surprised I'm continuing to have to learn this lesson over and over. My goal is to memorize Philippians 4:11-13 this week. If Paul can be content in prison, then I should be able to be content in the place God has brought me.

dmj.