my movie

Since this past summer, Jerod and I have gone through many trials- air conditioner broke, both of our laptops are toast, the Jeep's transmission went out, our indoor heating unit broke, someone to come fix it again $250, Jeep's flat tire $95, best friend got married and moved, and then there are always the in and out things in our daily life together as newly married couple.

And in case we wondered if God was trying to teach us something we began a study of James as a church. Convenient huh? It was just what we needed! And James talks about it right at the beginning; James do not let us miss it! "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:2-3

I've found that over the past several months I've been watching my own movie. As things are happening, God is allowing me to see Him change me and open my eyes to what He has for me almost as its happening. I see moments of sin and moments of joy, times were I need to be quiet, times were He's given me the strength to speak truth and the more I seek Him, the sooner I realize His work in my life. I play back the scenes and see where I went wrong, where God extended grace to me, where God convicted me, where He was evident in my life.

I've noticed this lately too- when I take my eyes off of other people and I ask the Lord to show me what I need to learn or see in a situation, then I'm able to see clearly and know more what it is I'm to do. If I walk around only praying for others and not for myself then I'm not practicing humility. I need Jesus. Trials in my life remind me of my great need for a Savior! We can not go at this life alone.

Even trials that go beyond money, trials with friends, family, coworkers, etc. Conflict is another reminder of my need for Jesus, especially conflict with those who do not love Jesus. Before I loved Jesus, He died for me, He loved me, He forgave me- Romans 5:8. How much more so ought we extend the grace that has been given to us with those who do not love Jesus? What mercy and love is this? How wonderful! When we see our great need for a Savior, we respond differently, we react differently.

I'm praying for the Lord to provide opportunities for me to share the Gospel, for the Holy Spirit to guide me in that process. I desire so much to be bold, but also to earn the write to speak into someones life and tell them the best news they will every hear! It is hard though- when you pray God responds. Am I ready for this? The Bible calls us to be ready to share the hope we have- 1 Peter 3:15. I need to be ready; I need to feed myself, as Pastor Tyler says.

"Although I am less than the least of all of God’s people, this grace was given to me: to preach to the gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ." Ephesians 3:8

dmj.

{a}dvent

⁶ For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

⁷ Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.

Isaiah 9:6-7

Advent, a time to looking forward of what is to come. This Advent season, Pastor Tyler has been focusing on the names of Jesus from Isaiah 9- Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. That has got to be one of the great mysteries of our faith, that God could send Jesus as a baby and He could be all those things, even as an infant. It is mysterious and hopeful all at the same time. Christ had to grow and learn like a human, but He still had many of the qualities of God.

God's gift to us, salvation began as an infant. Jesus was not what the people at the time were looking for, He wasn't the WARRIOR, sword drawn, ready to do physical battle. Jesus spent His life ministering to the HEART of the people. What the Jewish people had been longing for, looking for and praying for was finally there and sadly so many of them missed it.

I'm reminded of my study of the Patriarchs by Beth Moore. She pointed out that many of the events in the Old Testament pointed to the coming Messiah. A perfect example is Abraham and Issac. God asked a great thing of Abraham- take the son I gave you and sacrifice him. What?! Abraham obediently took Issac. I love the verse in Hebrews.

¹⁷By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, ¹⁸ of whom it was said, "Through Isaac shall your offspring be named." ¹⁹He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back.

Abraham believed that God not only kept His promises but could bring Issac back to life to do it! At what seems like the last minute, God provides a suitable sacrifice for Abraham. This points to the coming of Christ. Jesus would atone for the sins of the world. Jesus would take our place so we do not have to live a life separated from Him.

I love the song that was sung at Vintage 21 yesterday at the 11:30am service. I was back in the kids area checking my email and these words were sung- "No greater love story heaven could tell, God's gift of redemption, Emmanuel." Such true words.

What a wonderful reminded of the gift we've been given through Christ Jesus.

dmj.

EASY Weeknight Dinner

Unfortunately I do not have a picture of this awesome meal, but it was good, I promise! Every other Monday night James and Echo come over to our house for supper and I get to cook! And I have a think for cooking pork.

I've found that if I go to Harris Teeter once a week, I can always find something on sale. I walked in a couple Monday's ago when I was shopping for one of my clients and found that marinated pork tenderloins were on sale with a $4.00 of sticker. I picked up two and they were only $4.99 each! This is seriously one of my favorite things to eat! It is this simple, put the pork loin in the center of a large baking dish, then put whatever vegetables or potatoes you want around it. I put the oven on 375 degrees and leave it all in the oven for about an hour. I know most recipes have you brown the pork or whatever roast you're using on each side, then stick it in the over with the veggies, but I don't do that. Why? Because I don't want to wash another dish that's why!

Baked Pork Tenderloin with Butternut Squash, Apples and Onions
Note: I do not really know what spices go with what, so I usually just use what I have. I had rosemary on hand so that's what I chopped up and used. I'm sure sage would be awesome though! I love that with pork and apples!

1 Pork Tenderloin in the package, marinated or not
Top half of butternut squash, peeled, and cut into 2in. by 1/2 inc strips
2 apples, peeled and chopped about 1in. pieces
2 onions, peeled and cut into quarters
Whatever herb you have on hand chopped
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Take baking dish and drizzle olive oil on the bottom. Place pork on top and sprinkle both sides with salt and pepper. Place veggies on all sides of the pork and drizzle with salt pepper and olive oil. Then sprinkle the herbs on top of the pork or all over, whatever. It will be good :-)

Bake for an hour. Check on everything about half way. Move the veggies around. At an hour of cooking time check the temperature of the pork. One good rule of thumb is to see if the juices are running clear. But if you have a meat thermometer, the internal temperature should be about 160 degrees for a nice juicy, just cooked through, pink. That's the way Jerod likes it.

Serve with some kind of carb if you didn't bake one with the pork. We like rice or crusty bread.

Enjoy!

dmj.

Soup Weather

The weather today couldn't make up its mind! It was warm this morning, drizzled, poured and then was damp for the rest of the day. The wind was blowing leaves across the path at Lake Johnson. But it was a beautiful day to run. The trees are finally all different shades- reds, yellows, and oranges. I had butternut squash left over from making dinner yesterday so I decided it was a soup kinda day! I went to the farmer's market on Monday and got the butternut squash, onions and a giant bag of apples. I love going during the week; its quieter because there are way less people. I was pleased because the soup was a hit with Jerod, even with NO MEAT!

Thanx to a little help from Epicurious, dinner was delicious!

Butternut Squash Soup topped and Cider Cream w/ Toasted Whole Wheat Baguette
Adapted from Epicurious

Notes: I only had the bottom half of my 3 lb butternut squash left, so I altered the amount of liquid (2 cups vegetable stock, 1 cup water, 1 cup spiced cider). If you want to make one full 3 lb butternut squash, use 4 cups stock. I also made my version vegetarian, because all I had open was vegetable stock, so you can totally use chicken instead. I'm that kind of cook, if I don't have it, I make it up with something else or leave it out! If you have what their recipe calls for on hand then use it, my version is what I had in the house. If you only have so much stock, don't hesitate to substitute for 1 C water.

Celery root? I LOVE it. My mom got me into using it. It is expensive though so usually one of us gets it and we split it. It smells like celery, but tastes milder in my opinion.

Butternut squash does not play games. Make sure you have a good, sharp knife to cut these bad boys. First time I tried to make them I bought one that was too big, so it was tough and it was before Jerod and I bought our good knives. Talk about a workout just to peel a vegetable! (I want these next!)

4 tbsp organic unsalted butter
1 3lb butternut squash, peeled, and cut into 1/2 in cubes
1 onion, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
1/2 C celery root, chopped
salt, pepper
2 gala apples, cored, peeled, chopped
1 1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp dried sage
1 C Trader Joe's spiced cider
5 C vegetable broth

Several spoonfuls of sour cream (depends on how many people your serving)
Couple splashes of spiced cider



Heat butter on medium-high heat in a large heavy pot. Toss in butternut squash, onion, celery and celery root. Cook, stirring and scrapping the bits of the bottom for 10 min, long enough for squash to soften. Season with salt and pepper. Add apples and spices and stir. Then add broth and cider. Bring to a boil. Then turn heat to medium-low to simmer. Let simmer for about 30 min.



Once cooked, take the soup, working in batches if you need to, and blend in a food processor or blender. Pour back into the pot. You can leave the soup on the stove till you are ready to warm for supper time or serve immediately.



Take the sour cream and cider and stir up in a bowl. Put on the table for people to dollop on top of their soup!

While the soup was heating back up for supper, I cut the baguette I had into slices. I warmed up a slice of butter on medium heat in our cast iron skillet. I crisped the bread up really good! There is just something about bread and warm butter, yum! I served that along side the soup.



Enjoy! Merlin dog and I are going to go to bed and wait for Jerod to get home!

dmj.

T is for [tattoo]

I never thought that one day I would actually get one, but last Monday night Jerod and I went to Femme Fatale Tattoos in Raleigh. The tattoo shop is owned by Blair who is fabulous! She also has a sweet dog named Sumi (ink in Japanese) who hangs out with her in the shop! I really did not want to get a tattoo from a big burly man, and on our date night to the Cup a Joe in the same shopping center, we decided to walk in a check out her shop! We met Blair's brother and just started talk about what we wanted. She sketched two different designs for me and I loved both, so Jerod was the tie breaker. We decided to get the birds I wanted filled in instead of only an outline.

Getting the actual tattoo felt NOTHING like I thought it would. It was painful during certain parts of my back but not all. Jerod and Blair reminded me not to tense up and they were right! The more relaxed it let my arms and back get, the less it hurt.

After it was all done it felt like a bad sunburn. The funniest thing was, even before I sat down for Blair to start, I stated sweating. I'm talking like, dripping sweat from my arm pits. I have no clue why?! It was very strange. But Blair says that happens, but I couldn't find anything in my Google search about it.

I was sad because Nicole and I can't get the pictures from that night off her memory card! So these are what I have from Jerod's camera. My skin has healed really well and I have had almost no scabbing. Right after my tattoo was finished, I leaked a little plasma from my red bird and it looked I was bleeding right out of my back. But that stopped really soon too. Since that Monday I just put lotion on it twice a day and no problems!





I originally found several tattoos with birds that I really liked. I've been thinking about getting a tattoo for a little over 3 years now, but I never found anything I really wanted to put permanently on my body! That's a big commitment!

Lately I've been very aware of what God has brought me from-- out of a struggle with fear, anxiety and guilt. I have lived free from that stronghold for several years now. Matthew 6:26 says, "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow, nor reap nor gather up in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? " I love that verse. When I'm anxious, nervous or fearful I remember that I'm a daughter of God. I'm not defined by what other people think, my failure or my sin. Its freeing.

So now that's permanently on me! And I love the reminder.

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow, nor reap nor gather up in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? matthew 6:26

dmj.

Heat is overrated.

So again our heat pump is not working.... and the dog and I are freezin! It is 64 degrees in the house and well, needless to say when it starts working again I'll have a whole new appreciation.

I need to learn how to build a fire so when Jerod is not home I can do it myself. It'll be very pioneer women. Imagine, people had to do this all the time if they wanted heat. It didn't just get pumped into their house. Man, I'm thankful I live in 2010!!

Where does my value lie? Sure isn't in out heat pump. Or our ability to spend money on whatever I want, because Jerod and I don't have $2,000 laying around to replace the unit again.

All I can seem to do right now is laugh. I'm confident God has even this under control. But I still struggle. My idea of God providing looks different, I won't lie. Lord, can we win the $23 million lottery? Can we inherit $20,000? In my mind I see all we could do with that money, pay of the last ac unit, pay off Jerod's student loans, have more than $500 in savings. But I see my own heart yet again. I'm under the misconception that money will satisfy me. If we had this or that, or didn't have to worry about money-- THEN I would be satisfied.

I'm broken over the state of my own heart. God is not limited by money! I'm humbled by that truth! We have what we need right now and no more.

Well I'm off to pack. J and I are going to the OBX to visit with his dad and Barbara. Have a lot to do!

dmj.

God's {faithfulness}

But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently -Romans 8:25

Was looking through my list of drafts, things I've never posted. Sometimes I use blogger as a way to put things I am thinking down with no intention of actually posting them. As I was looking through I saw that I saved the verse in bold above. And it is VERY fitting for my life right now. I am again in a season of waiting.

This season of waiting has to do with nursing school at Wake Tech. I am an alternate for the spring class. I received the letter in the mail two weeks ago. I cried when I showed it to Jerod because I feel one step closer to what I want to do but not quite there! Orientation was this past Friday from 1pm-5pm. I am number 30 on the alternate list and last semester they accepted 35 alternates.

Jerod and I were talking about when we have children, we'd like to give them all their options. I had no idea NC had great RN programs at their community colleges. I had no idea what it looked like to transfer to another school, I had no idea there was anything outside of a 4 year university and I had no idea how to support myself enough to purse the degree I wanted.

But now as I wait I'm reminded of this verse in James. You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. James 4:2. For the longest time I just went around desiring to pursue nursing. But even after I set my mind to start pursuing it, I never sat down and asked God. I just assumed He knew. Which is true. God does know the desires of our heart. But like little children (Matthew 18:13), we are to be totally dependent on God. Children depend on their parents, their parents love them and provide for them.

I am encouraged by the following verses in Romans.

Romans 8: 26-28

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit itself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will or God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.

I have to submit this desire to God. No matter what, He'll do what is ultimately best for me and what will bring Him the most glory. I know God always shows up and whether God grants me favor in this area by me getting into nursing this semester, or something else, I know and trust God is faithful-- Psalm 33:4-- The word of the LORD is upright, all His work is done in faithfulness.

Hope this brings encouragement. Our God is faithful! He promises that all things will work out for God for those who are called according to His purpose. Do you believe that? I do. I see His faithfulness in my life. Romans 5:8 reminds us-- but God who shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

dmj.