{learning}

Learning dependence on God is hard when you are an adult. Culture says: I'm supposed to be independent. Take care of myself. I'm supposed to look out for myself. Work had to provide for myself. What I have is mine because I earned it, worked hard for it. It is easy to give into this mentality and not believe truth: that all I have is a gift from God; nothing is mine.

I make God smaller than He is, and I do not even mean to do it; I diminish His power in my life. How quickly I forget that I'm taken care of?! God's got this. All my questions, all my desires, all my worries and all my fears are already known by God. Could my anxiety be because I'm not telling God, even if He already knows the desires of my heart? We are supposed to come to God like little children, dependent for our every need (Mark 10:15). Thankful, because He has provided all we need.

Today I'm feeling content and thankful. I think I'm starting to live more in the now and not always looking for what is ahead, missing what God is providing for me now. It's allowing me to take pleasure in these little joys in life. Corney? Maybe, but I'm okay with that. I'm called to not worry. Philippians 4:6-7 says, do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.

Updates on our life right now:

*I'm very thankful I have Jerod home for three weeks! He is all done with teaching, and he'll start teaching Pre-calculus at Enloe sometime in early July. Yesterday we just hung out, ate together and even played some XBox 360 before I went to class.

*My brother graduated from HS! And this August he'll be a student at NC State in the college of Engineering! Go Wolfpack!

*Surprisingly, running is getting easier and easier!! You may not believe me but I swear it is true :-)

*Merlin update: When we run he still thinks he has to pee on every other bush... "This ones mine! and this ones mine too!" But he looks so cute when he trots next to me, mouth open, tongue hanging out the side. Run's usually involve at least one attempt at attacking a squirrel and several attempts at attacking birds! I often wonder what he might do if he actually got a hold of one. Everyone is telling us he looks bigger and I am starting to believe them. His legs are longer and he's taking up more space than before. He new favorite pastime is sleeping under just about anything-- our bed, coffee table, other people's coffee table's, dining room table's, etc.

A while back he jumped up and knocked a bird down in the backyard. I couldn't get my self to pick up the bird dying next to the air conditioning unit. So, I waiting till Jerod got home to get rid of the now dead bird. Merlin has an incredible memory. Every so often he would go to the window to see if it was still there.

*I have a new client after I found my last one dead. I thought about death a lot and slept a lot afterward. I still keep thinking about my own death-- when? where? how? etc. Morbid I know.

*Jerod and I are officially grown up because... WE BOUGHT LIFE INSURANCE!

Lots of random thoughts I know. I'm thankful for what today will bring, to have my puppy sleeping on my feet, under the table, and wait patiently on the Lord.

dmj.