Did I pass Lord?

The end of this past week and into the weekend I had the suspicion that God might be testing me. I've been learning a lot about testing as I've been doing the Patriarch study by Beth Moore. Some tests seem extreme, like when God tested Abraham. God seems to go after the thing/things that we love the most. And out tests have our name on them. God puts out "loves" out on the table and forces the issue with us. Have you really given this over to me? Do you really love me more than ___?

In Genesis 22:1-2 God tests Abraham -->

"After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, 'Abraham!' And he said, 'Here I am.' He said, 'Take you son, your only son Isaac, whom you love , and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.'"

Did Abraham really love God above all else? Even more than the son God provided him that supposedly would be the father of many? But last minute, right before Abraham was about to sacrifice his only son, God provided a ram to take Isaac's place!

Beth Moore points out that throughout Genesis, God is teaching Abraham so he can teach. He provided a way for Abraham to know acceptable sacrifices- the Law. Here he could be foreshadowing the Gospel!

I love this story because it is a reminder; what do I value, what do I love, what have I/have I not given to God? I have finally admitted to myself, Jerod, my family and a close friend, that I do want a baby. But I also know Jerod and I have submitted a plan before the Lord: we're naturally family planning, want to start trying to have kids in about 3 years, but if it happens earlier than it does. This desire is more something I think about when I'm alone, its a quieter desire and sin issue in my life- not obvious to others. But this weekend I wonder if God was testing me... I've told other people I've given it over to God but have I really?

I was 4 days late and my cycle keeps getting longer and longer. But I took a pregnancy test and I was not pregnant. But being that late my mind started to wander, to think, to dream about what it would mean if I was. And I had to spend some serious time giving over my desires and my hopes.

I love in the story of Abraham, God provided for Abraham. And I know God has provided for me as well. No only do I feel peace about God's provision and plan in my life, other fears I had were addressed and I have peace. I want to live free of fear or anxiety. I believe God has a plan bigger than I can see, I want to see when God tests me and see His provision in my life.

dmj.